O, Come All Ye Faithful

The votes for Jesus have been counted. Ladies and gentlemen, we have our new Jesus and his name is Kevin Smith.

We now have a new 10 Commandments (the old ones can be used for compost or bedding or something).

Commandment the First:

I am the Lord your God who saved you from boredom with Dogma and showed the way for independent film makers with Clerks. Thou shalt not worship Michael Bay.

Commandment the Second:

Do not make an image of Jersey Girl nor judge me upon it.

Commandment the Third:

Thou mayest swear falsely by my name. All expressions which would have warranted a "Jesus Christ!" will now warrant a "Silent Bob!", but only if it is followed by "Snoogans!"

Commandment the Fourth:

Remember the Sabbath day, but not the evening preceding it. The Sabbath day is the Day of the Bob and weed smoking and comic reading are the only sanctioned activities.

Commandment the Fifth:

Honour Stan Lee.

Commandment the Sixth:

Do not commit murder. Unless you totally have to, in which case, it's cool. I wasn't watching anyway.

Commandment the Seventh:

Do not commit adultery. Unless Jay encourages it. The power of the Jay-cock is strong.

Commandment the Eighth:

Thou shalt not steal from my comic book store. And also, don't bogart, you douche.

Commandment the Ninth:

Do not bear false witness. Unless Mewes is in trouble again. In that case lie your ass off, I need him for my next movie.

Commandment the Tenth:

Covet all you like. That's why I made Rosario Dawson dance on the roof in Clerks II. Also, bring me lots of weed.

That is all, good followers. Blessings and chicken wings be upon you.